How Can My Partner and I Get the Passion Back Into Our Relationship, It Has Been Awhile?
Gay or straight, relationships are the same. Everyone goes through a period where the passion they used to have gets put on the backburner. The question is: How do you bring it back without looking like you are trying to hard?
Some couples like to blame life for a lack of passion. “Life gets in the way” is a common phrase that is heard over and over. “We have kids now. We will get back to it once they are grown and gone.” The only problem is that by then it may be too late. Sometimes we come up with excuses as to why the passion has gone by the wayside.
Either way, the common denominator is always the same person: You.
It is time to stop the excuses and find a way to get back the passion you used to have. I have a few simple suggestions that might help.
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1) Every sexual relationship started with some kind of an intimate connection. You and your partner may have lost that spark over time. Try to establish an emotional connection first. I am not talking about talking dirty, although, that can also be used when the time is right.
I am talking about speaking to your partner’s heart. Some women have gone on record as saying they are most turned on by their partner when he speaks from the heart. Some gays guys feel that way too. Either way, try to get back the heart of why you two are together. There is a reason why the two of you lasted this long. It might take some effort on both your parts, but every good relationship takes hard work.
2) Do you remember how it was in the beginning? The two of you could not keep your hands off of each other. You spent most of your free time in bed experimenting with everything. Some couples barely come up for air. I like to call it the “sexual haze.” The only problem is that this phase does not last forever. The honeymoon period will end. Reality will seep in. That is what you are dealing with now. You are dealing with the reality of your lives as partners. That is why you cannot make excuses for what is or is not happening.
Think back to what got you excited in the beginning. What things did your partner do that turned you on the most? Why could you not keep your hands off one another from day one? Some argue that all that is happening is hormones. The two of you would not still be together if hormones were the only cause. You would have moved onto other people if hormones were the only deciding factor.
There is something more at work here. The stone cold truth is that you need to work harder at the sexual chemistry than when you first got together. I am sorry to tell you this, but overactive hormones are not going to last for the rest of your lives. You will grow older. Other things will become more important. However, nothing should be more important than the work you put into each other, including love and lust.
As a gay man, I can tell you that we go through the same issues you do? Everything is easy in the beginning. Eventually, you will need to put some effort into it. A study found that sexual struggles often stem from some interpersonal issue within the couple. You can get back the romance, but you need to talk frankly about the issues blocking it.
3) You could try switching your sexual activities up a bit. Some people like the same old, same old. It is called “vanilla sex” with “vanilla boys.” Vanilla boys are the ones who only do things in a boring missionary style. That may be fine in the beginning. Some people need to be eased into a sexual relationship. No matter who the person is Anal sex is another option for couples craving for something different. It might be hard at first, but with the use of anal toys like butt plugs that you can pick from online stores including Loveplugs.co. You will definitely feel more at ease engaging in anal sex.
However, you will have to do something different to keep your partner interested in the long-term. Your partner wants to see you are making an effort. Should you use sex toys? That is up to you to decide. You can as long as your partner is up to it. Your partner might feel that is a little too much.
That is why you should have frank discussions about this. Some argue that talking about sex is taboo. I say that is garbage. How will you know what your partner likes if you do not talk to them? They may be thinking about it too, but too afraid of how you will react. You need to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.
Your partner might be trying to initiate something with you right now. Stop blaming each other. It is time to start the fire again.
4) There is nothing better than sex when the tension is high. The longer you have been denied, the hotter your night is going to be. Let the tension build within one another. Tease your partner a little bit. Teasing is a great way to get tension and blood flowing. You will have some of the best sex of your life if you do it right.
It is time to shed your fears and inhibitions. Your partner is waiting for you to come back. Remember that a healthy relationship has everything including love and sex.